


Please Drink Responsibly

by Quaggy



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Post-Chosen, Post-Series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-22
Updated: 2018-12-22
Packaged: 2019-09-24 12:28:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17100599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quaggy/pseuds/Quaggy
Summary: Buffy takes a few precautions when Giles goes out for a night drinking with Ethan. Ethan, as usual, has his own agenda.





	Please Drink Responsibly

**Author's Note:**

> First line was from prompt: "A heavy, dark shape splashed into the beer beside him" from Red Seas Under Red Skies by Scott Lynch.
> 
> A big thank you to DHW for the inspiration and the Brit-pick!

A heavy, dark shape splashed into the beer beside him.   
  
“What the—”  
  
“Just consider it a precaution, after the last time you went drinking with Ethan,” Buffy said as she slipped into the seat next to him.   
  
“And this is…”  
  
“Bezoar.”  
  
“This isn’t Harry Potter, Buffy.”  
  
“Good thing too. I’ll take a chaos demon over Voldemort. What did Ethan say?”  
  
“Ask him yourself,” Giles replied with a wave of his hand. Buffy turned to see Ethan approach the table with a very frilly drink.   
  
“Sorry to take so long,” Ethan said, ignoring that there was a new addition to their table.  
  
“If you went back to ordering proper pints, you wouldn't go through your drinks quite so quickly,” Giles observed.  
  
“Ah, but then I’d have less opportunity to win the bartender over with my charms.” Ethan took his seat opposite Giles.  
  
“He’s out of your league, mate.”  
  
“You always say that.”  
  
“It’s always true.”  
  
“We’ll see,” Ethan replied smugly and finally he turned to Buffy. “Miss Summers.”  
  
“Ethan,” Buffy returned, completely unfazed. “Did Giles fill you in?”  
  
“Yes, your little demon problem. Quite fascinating. Can’t imagine why you would think I had any particular expertise on the subject.”  
  
“Really?” Buffy feigned surprise. “I would have thought this would be right up your alley.”  
  
“You wound me! My tastes are much more mundane.”  
  
“Yeah, so I see,” Buffy replied as she eyed his violent pink cocktail.  
  
“I’m sorry. Where are my manners? I’d have brought you one, had I known you were planning on making an appearance.”  
  
“I’ll get my own, thanks.”  
  
“Oh, you are staying? Lucky us.”  
  
“Depends on if you start answering questions,” Buffy said, finally showing a bit of exasperation. “You going to help with the chaos demon?”  
  
“I told you, not my area of expertise.”  
  
“I wouldn’t bother, Buffy. He’s been like this all night,” Giles observed as he went to take another sip of his beer. The bezoar knocked against the side of the glass, throwing off its weight. Giles glared at the offending stone.  
  
“Is that a—” Ethan began in disbelief. Buffy’s answering grin was almost evil.  
  
“Did you think I had forgotten what happen last time?” she sweetly inquired.  
  
“Charming. And which two-bit hack sold you that?”  
  
“Agatha Harkness.” Buffy laughed when Ethan visibly flinched. “She was more than happy to help when I explained the situation. She sends her regards, by the way.”  
  
“How delightful,” Ethan replied, looking somewhat green around the gills. Buffy grinned in satisfaction.  
  
“You know, I think I will get that drink,” Buffy announced.  
  
Ethan wordlessly watched her as she made her way to the bar. When it was clear that she was absorbed with her order, he turned his attention back to Giles.  
  
“You are a berk, you know that?” he hissed.  
  
“What? What did I do? I didn’t know she was coming,” Giles objected.  
  
“Look at you! All morose and ‘woe is me, my Slayer doesn’t need me anymore.’ Just the same as you were back then. And looked what happened afterwards!”  
  
“I’ve already apologized for that.” Giles said. “Profusely.” His voice was filled with his regret.  
  
“You didn’t know. And when you did, you got me out. We’re square,” Ethan said, somberly. Both men nodded and took sips of their respective drinks. Nothing more really did need to be said.   
  
“But,” Ethan began and smirked when Giles groaned. “I’m not talking about that. I’m referring to your commitment to maintaining status quo. It’s quite admirable. Stupid, but admirable."   
  
“What are you on about now?”  
  
“I was referring to the fact your little Slayer is clearly more than mildly concerned about your well-being. A bezoar, I tell you! She’s not taking any chances, is she?” he asked, pointedly. Giles studiously ignored both him and the bezoar still in his drink. Ethan narrowed his eyes and continued. “She was the same way back then, you know. So, determined to avenge your death.”  
  
“Buffy’s sense of responsibility has never been in question.”  
  
“RESPONSIBILITY?! She went a little wild when she thought that she lost you. Even I could see that. That’s more than just bloody responsibility, mate. You know that could have had her with just a word. Oh, don’t scoff! It’s true! But you never said anything at all. And so, she went with the first wanker that showed her a bit of interest and who could blame her? And there’s nothing stopping her from doing that again. You want history to keep repeating itself? Because I’m frankly getting motion sick just from watching from the sidelines!”  
  
“Shut. UP! She’s coming back!”  
  
Ethan turned to see Buffy making her way back to the table with a pint of something light. An ale or cider, most likely.  
  
“You’re still here,” Buffy said, in an annoyingly cheerful voice. “How encouraging.” She took a healthy swig of her drink as soon as she sat down.  
  
“Needed fortification?” Ethan asked with sly politeness.  
  
“Space,” Buffy replied blandly and plopped a second bezoar into her own drink.  
  
“Do you know what that pretty little rock actually is?” Ethan inquired.  
  
“A bezoar. In other words, a blockage of the intestines. This in particular is a cow gallstone, the type traditionally used in Chinese medicine. Agatha treated it to nullify curses and charms as well as poisons. You’ll forgive me if I don’t go into more detail than that. Proprietary information and all of that.”  
  
“Well. You’re well informed.”  
  
“I’m a Slayer, Ethan. I’m not easily grossed out.”  
  
“And yet, you shudder at my black pudding,” Giles intoned.  
  
“Because that stuff is just disgusting!” Buffy proclaimed, still every inch the impudent California girl. Ethan threw his head back and laughed.  
  
“Oh, Sweet Chaos, Ripper! If you don’t get off your arse and marry the girl, I’ll have her!” Ethan declared. Buffy’s head snapped up in shock, but before she could formulate a response, Giles had slammed his hand down on the table between. His glare was sharp and deadly.  
  
“Oooh! Worried that I’ll get the march on you, old boy?” Ethan mocked. Giles started from his chair, which was enough to spur Buffy into action. She placed a soothing (and restraining) hand on Giles’s shoulder.  
  
“Hey! Hey!! Giles, don’t let him wind you up! And you!” Buffy turned to Ethan. “Do you have a death wish or something?!”  
  
Ethan’s posture relaxed and his expression shifted to something close to fondly amused.  
  
“Don’t worry. I’ve stolen a girl or two away from Ripper before, but even I’m not fool enough to try anything when it comes to you. You wouldn’t take it kindly and I like my insides on the inside. And, as for Ripper….” His eyes slid over to Giles and then back to Buffy with a smirk. “Let’s just say that some things are unforgivable, even between old mates like us.”  
  
“Ethan….” Giles rumbled, menacingly, as Buffy pushed him back down into his chair.  
  
“But back to business,” Ethan declared, unperturbed. He knocked back his drink and then grew more serious than Buffy had ever believed was possible. “By Janus’ Gate, I swear you have my full, uncompromised assistance with your chaos problem.” Buffy glanced at Giles, who reluctantly, gave a nod that Ethan’s word on this could be trusted.  
  
“Thank you, Ethan,” Buffy replied, returning his sincerity.   
  
“I’ll go make some inquiries. It’s shouldn’t take me long, but if I don’t check in by morning. . . . Well, tell Agatha she can finally test that spell she keeps threatening me with.”  
  
“I’ll tell her,” Buffy replied, with a smile. “That way I can be certain that won’t be necessary. You do live to disappoint her, from what I hear.” Ethan laughed in appreciation.  
  
“Right. I’m off,” he stated and then flashed Giles a smirk. “You know, Ripper, that bezoar means that you can’t blame your little show on me spiking your drink with a love potion. Or hers, for that matter. I think you have some explaining to do. Sorry that I can’t stick around to assist with that.” Ethan timed his last line just a group of rowdy university students crowded into the pub, allowing him to slip out before Giles really could murder him.  
  
He did pause by the doorway to risk a glance back and smiled. Giles and Buffy were staring at each other. Buffy, her hand still on his shoulder, looked both smug and intrigued. She’d get the answers she wanted, without a doubt. Giles frankly looked terrified. Ethan chuckled to himself then stepped outside to get lost in the night.  
  
Bring order with one hand and spread chaos with the other. Janus would be pleased with the duality. And if everyone ended up a little happier because of his meddling, well, that’s just the way things went sometimes. Janus, who was also the god of new beginnings, would understand.


End file.
